


Fucking Ties

by yuto_da



Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, It's a wedding, M/M, Robin's Wedding, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Zoro's late, fluff and comfort, playful arguin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 03:52:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuto_da/pseuds/yuto_da
Summary: Zoro can't tie a tie, and they're late for Robin and Franky's wedding.





	Fucking Ties

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the photo by @zoeychuannn on tumblr. Go check her out, she's amazing

“Really?” Sanji began, “You still don’t know how to tie a tie after all this years we’ve lived together?”

He went into the adjoining bathroom and began combing and styling his hair. Sanji brushed through his long, golden locks as Zoro clicked his tongue and answered Sanji’s somewhat rhetorical question.

“Shut up. I do know how to tie a freaking tie,” Zoro fumbled with the piece of cloth, and ended up knotting two of his digits with the blasted piece of cloth.

“No, you don’t!” Sanji yelled from the bathroom. “If you did know how to tie a tie, you’d also know how to set an alarm clock, and we wouldn’t be late!”

Zoro threw one of his hands up in exasperation. Whether it was at his husband griping in the bathroom, or it was the fucking tie, Zoro had no clue.

* * *

 

“What does tying a tie have to do with setting the alarm?”

“It has everything to do with it!” Sanji argued. He kept the comb down by the sink and thoroughly checked his appearance. It wouldn’t do if he arrived looking unsightly. He, unlike someone he knew, had class and a sensible taste in fashion.

Sanji exited the bathroom and went over to his mumbling husband. He lit up a cigarette and placed it in his mouth, taking a deep inhale and exhale, before turning his green-haired husband towards him.

“If you knew how to set a bloody alarm, we would have woken up early, and I would have dealt with this earlier, and we would have left earlier, and we wouldn’t be late.” 

Zoro rolled his one good eye, and resisted the urge to fold his arms. It’d just make the blonde more pissed than he already was, and would result in a fight Zoro wasn’t sure he’d come out unscathed.

“What do you want me to say? I’m sorry I fell asleep after fucking you into the mattress three times, and forgot to set the alarm and we slept throughout the whole morning?” Zoro rose an eyebrow, daring his spouse to challenge his statement.

Sanji blushed furiously at Zoro’s crude language. He tugged a bit too hard on his lover’s black tie and made Zoro choke slightly. Sanji bit down on the cigarette and clicked his tongue. 

“Let’s just get going. Nami will kill us if we-” 

Sanji was cut off by their front door slamming open downstairs, and a set of heeled shoes stomped up the stairs. The owner of the clicking shoes stopped at the bedroom door and melodramatically throwing open the door, unwavering when the door slammed against the wall loudly.

“Shit.” Zoro said, moving away from Sanji and looking at his reflection in the bedroom mirror.

“Nami-swan, I was just talking about you,” Sanji flirted, trying to buy his way into the raging woman’s good graces.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Nami thwarted Sanji’s attempts and turned her furious glare at both males. “Why are you two still here and not at the wedding?” Her tone held a not-so-subtle threat of murder.

“It’s the bloody marimo’s fault.” Sanji shamelessly threw his spouse under the bus. “He didn’t set the alarm, and we woke up late, and then, he said he doesn’t know how to tie a tie.”

Nami turned to Zoro with a weird look on her face. “You can’t tie a tie?“ She shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. I’ve seen you wear a tie before. How’d you tie it then?”

But, Nami didn’t wait for the male to answer. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just get going before we’re any later than we already are, and before Franky and Sabo kill you two.”

“Why would they kill us but spare you? You’re here with us, late just like us.” Zoro said, moving away from the mirror and getting his black coat from the closet a few feet from where Nami stood. Zoro wore the black coat over his white shirt and tugged on it slightly, adjusting the fit of the cloth, before settling and pocketing his hands in his trouser pockets.

“Because, Zoro-kun, I told them I was coming to collect you two, and they made me swear not to murder you two.” 

“That doesn’t answer my question. Why would they spare you? You’re just as late as we are.”

“That’s not important!” Sanji interrupted, throwing his hand in the air and stubbing his cigarette in the ashtray placed on the end table by the messy, ruffled bed. “Let’s just get going. We’re already grievously late, and standing here, arguing about bullshit, won’t make us get there quickly.”

He bypassed the two and went downstairs, swiping the car keys and unlocking rhe door before settling inside the driver’s seat and waiting for his husband and good friend to descend and enter the vehicle.

“This argument’s not over, Zoro.” Nami said, squinting her eyes at the moss-haired male and leaving the room and going down into the car.

Zoro rolled his eyes and followed suit, adjusting the knot on the tie as he descended the stairs. He sort of wished he hadn’t said anything about being unable to tie his own tie. Sanji would never let him live it down or forget it. Zoro groaned. He knew in a sense, lying about something as small as a tie would be far worse than when he’d gotten lost and ended up in the other part of town while trying to buy milk. 

Zoro shook his head and finished descending the stairs, turning around to lock the door and gate, before getting into the car and continuing his argument with Nami, while Sanji drove them to the wedding area, all the while praying Robin wasn't delayed by their fuck-up.


End file.
